The ups and downs of adoption and the SECRET to being content

Adoption is such a roller coaster of emotions. You get so excited when you finally decide, "okay it's time", then you get nervous about the process, the homestudy, what will the social worker think of us, what will she write about us, etc. Then you get excited that the homestudy is finished and they can finally start showing your profile. As time goes by you get a mix of emotions, excited anticipation, cautious excitement (a very hard emotion), excitement someone is looking at your profile, sadness that you weren't picked, excitement about a new situation, disappointment, frustration, impatient, patient, trusting, lacking trust, optimism, pessimism, questioning (why is it taking so long, have I done something to keep it from happening, these are otherwise known as false guilt, etc.). Then you see God do something and you have a renewed sense of faith and trust and excitement. Sometimes you want to pack your bags because you are just sure that God is going to do something big and soon! Sometimes you laugh at yourself because how silly to put God on YOUR timetable! up down up down up down.....that is how our wonderful human brain and emotions work! God made us that way! We can't always control our emotions but there is one thing we can always have no matter what emotion we are feeling and that is JOY (if we are Christians and have the Holy Spirit in us)!

I've been teaching the kids the following verses:

1 Thessalonians 5 :16-18 "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus"

More thoughts on being joyful, not worrying, and being content:

In Philippians chapter 4 Paul tells the people to "rejoice in the Lord always" (vs.4), to "let your gentle spirit be known to all men" (vs.5), and tells them to "be anxious for nothing" (vs.6). Sometimes those things may seem impossible but Paul gives us some insight on how this can be accomplished. Verse 6 goes on to say "in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God" In verse 7 he says that God will guard our hearts and our minds and give us peace. If you continue reading on in chapter 4 Paul moves into contentment (which in my opinion is tied to rejoicing and not being anxious). Then Paul tells us the SECRET. It is the SECRET that we can all cling to. Many people take this SECRET out of context but if we put it in the context of the whole chapter the SECRET is pointing back to all of the things Paul has addressed in the previous verses. So here it is, he is how we can go through life and rejoice in all things, no matter what our emotions are or how we feel at the time, we can do it all without worry and without discontent if we keep this SECRET in mind:

I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME!!!!! (vs.14) Yay! What a wonderful secret, a secret that shouldn't be kept! We can do it and we can do it because God gives us the strength. While you are in Philippians keep on reading. Vs. 19 is very encouraging as well!

Oh and just in case you are curious where I am emotionally today.....I'm excited again. The tax refund is here! That means we have the money (at least some of it) to pay for an adoption! God is good and He has provided! I'm also excited because I have our doctor visits scheduled and I have a plan for when we can get our fingerprints and background checks updated! Hoping to have all updated paperwork by the end of next week or early the next week! How exciting (and yet frustrating we have to do it all again....hehe).

Homestudy Update

Well, the time has come to update our homestudy. It has been a year since our first homevisit from our social worker. I had hoped this time would not come, but it has. So I will begin to schedule homestudy visits, doctor visits, fingerprinting, background checks, etc. I really hoped God would bring us a baby before we had to do this but that was not His plan!

Once again there are so many mixed emotions that go along with this. I don't want to do all of this again and yet I know I must make myself because I desire to have another baby. So I will do it and I will continue to trust God. It is hard but He is with me.

Update on the financial situation: God provided us with someone to fix our heat/air unit at a much cheaper rate. God also is going to provide through our tax return, which should get to us this month. We are hoping it will take care of some issues with the car, with medical bills, and with our next adoption!

Keep praying! I'm hopeful that 2011 will be the year God brings us a baby, but if not we will still trust!