Thoughts a month later….
Well, it has been a month since our failed adoption, so I
thought I would share where we are now and what is next.
It has been an interesting month full of so many emotions….most
of them that can’t be sorted out and understood. You can ask so many questions that really
cannot be answered easily. If you allow
yourself to think too hard about it you can fall into the “what if” trap or the
“did I do something wrong” trap of your mind that can send you swirling all
around. You can play the blame game too,
maybe the agency did something wrong, maybe a nurse said something, maybe her
family members got to her, maybe we didn’t do or say the right things. You often find yourself asking “why”, “why
when God had worked so much out?” “Why
when you were basically told this is a “done deal”?” “Why us and not someone else?” (a very
selfish question – actually all are selfish).
But in the end asking all of these questions and analyzing the situation
really gets you no where. We may never
really know why it happened the way it did.
So, the thing to do in a situation like this is to focus on what we do
know!
We do know that God
is good. Psalm 100:5 “For the Lord
is good, and His love is eternal; His
faithfulness endures through all generations.”
(Mark 10:18 Jesus says, “No
one is good but One – God”;
We do know that God
has a plan for us that cannot be thwarted. (Thus discounting the did
_________ do something wrong) Job 42:2 “I know that You can do anything and no plan
of Yours can be thwarted” (See also
Psalm 139:14-16, Jeremiah 1:5)
We know that sometimes we
will experience trials of many kinds and we must count them as joy,
understanding that the testing of our faith produces endurance, so that we can
become mature and complete, lacking in nothing.
(James 1:2-4)
We are to bring glory
to God in everything we say and do. Psalm
117:1 says, “Praise the Lord, all nations!
Glorify Him, all people!” and I
love what King Nebuchadnezzar says in Daniel 4:37 “….praise, exalt, and glorify
the King of heaven, because all His works are true and His ways are just….”
We know God is
faithful! (Psalm 36:5; Psalm 91:4; Lamentations
3:23 – I could go on forever with this one so if you need more proof let me
know!)
We also know that in the last 11 months we have been able to
share the peace of God and His gospel message with two birthmoms. A baby who could have been aborted was
not. Two women who were in desperate
situations were able to hear that we need to “Trust in the Lord with all your
heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him
and He will direct your path” (Prov. 3:5-6)
A birthfather heard the gospel and received it (not from us but from a
pastor we know)! We were able to follow
God in a way we felt Him leading and trust Him that He would get us through no
matter the outcome. We were able to
share with a birthmom that no matter what God would bring us peace. Though our desired outcome was a baby and it
is so hard to understand it all, we continue to trust God and look forward to
seeing how he will work in our lives and in the life of our family.
So where do we go from here?
Our homestudy expires in May. So we
have to get all of our background clearances renewed (fingerprints, etc.), we
have to update our medical forms, which means doctor visits, we need to have a
home visit. We have planned a vacation
to the beach in early May. We are taking
our time to get our documents updated and plan to try to get everything updated
by the end of May. Last March we sent an
application to an agency in Florida . They said they still have our application and
all they need is our updated homestudy and some profile books. Our profile book is now two years old. The kids have changed so much, so I will plan
to at least do a few new pages in our book.
And we pray that God will lead us to a baby or babies or sibling group
or wherever/whatever He has for us! We
have the desire to add to our family and unless God leads us otherwise we will
continue to pursue that direction.
We are so thankful that God has given us family and friends
that can go along this journey with us. That
is why God created the church to encourage one another and to pray for one
another! We are so thankful for all of
you!!!
