I have been reflecting this last week about God, in
particular on two of the names given to God in the Bible. The first being El
Roi, which is translated “the God who sees me,” and the other, “Immanuel,”
which translated means, “God with us.” In biblical times a name represented
someone’s character, so these names reveal something about God’s nature and
character. The first Sunday of Advent is on Sunday, December 1, when we stop
and focus on “Immanuel,” and I would like to share testimony of how God has
revealed Himself to me just this week and reminded me that He sees me and is
with me.
Those
of you who only know me through Facebook do not see or know all the things that
go on behind the closed doors of my house. Those of you who see me often have a
little better of an idea, but still not a complete picture. I love my life, I
have a good life, and I have been very blessed. However, my life is also very
difficult and exhausting. We deal with multiple kids on a daily basis who have
suffered trauma of one form or another, and there are real, lasting effects on
these kids, even if they have been in a loving, stable home for weeks, months, or
years. Most of these effects are not seen in the interactions that take place
outside of the home, so it can feel very isolating. Honestly, it feels like if
you were to try to explain what goes on in your home, everyone would look at
you like you were crazy (and I’m pretty sure some people do). As a people-pleaser
(something that can be positive and negative), I tend to be very concerned about
what people think of me, my kids, my home, and the weird, crazy decisions I
have to make because of the unique needs of all my kids.
It has
been a very difficult fall. Things have happened in our home, decisions have
had to be made, and though we know some of those decisions were for the good of
all involved, it was not easy. I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster for
quite some time now. Things have been hard, heartbreaking, and emotionally
draining. Parenting is not for the faint of heart, and we’ve had quite a few
issues we have had to deal with at school and at home. Foster care is hard.
There have been a few times in the last six months that I’ve just wanted to
throw in the towel. “We tried our best and it just didn’t work out,” is what I
felt like saying. But I still felt God had us right where He wanted us.
It has
been a huge blessing to me this week to see God reaffirm His call for our
family. We would all say foster care is hard, but I don’t think you would find
a one of us who would say we shouldn’t have done it (or shouldn’t continue
doing it). It has been so neat to see God orchestrate His plans for our lives
and the lives of our kids and work out details that only He could make work. I
can’t share the details of how God has worked particularly the last few months because
it involves more people than just me. However, I can tell you that just this
week God has used multiple people to remind me that He (El Roi) sees me and
that He (Immanuel) is with me! I am so thankful that God has used some very
small things, and very big things, to reaffirm to me that I am right where He
wants me to be. He knows foster care is a struggle. He knows I worry about what
others think about me and my decisions. He knows my fears, my doubts, my people-pleasing
tendencies, and He looks past all of those and chooses to remind me that He
cares. He forgives my sins and shortcomings and lovingly wraps His arms around
me. He truly is Immanuel, God with us!
As we
move into this season of Christmas, I hope that you can look around you and see
God working. I hope that you can see God is with you and He sees you! I don’t
know what your particular struggle is: maybe you feel alone and isolated, maybe
you are facing a difficult decision, maybe you have a medical condition that is
discouraging, maybe you are seeking direction in life, maybe you have a child who
has wandered away from the things you’ve taught them. The list could go on and
on. I want to encourage you that God is a God who sees you. Call out to Him and
tell Him your struggles. This doesn’t mean He will fix them all. Sometimes He
does; sometimes He just walks beside us through them, but either way, He is
with you—He is Immanuel.
If you don’t have a personal relationship with God, you can.
God sent His Son, Jesus, to be our Immanuel. You can trust Him as your Savior,
for He has come to save people from their sins. Feel free to ask me more!
Matthew 1:18-25
18 Now the
birth of Jesus Christ was as follows: when His mother Mary had been
betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with
child by the Holy Spirit. 19 And
Joseph her husband, being a righteous man and not wanting to disgrace her,
planned to send her away secretly. 20 But when
he had considered this, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a
dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your
wife; for the Child who has been conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit. 21 She will bear a Son; and you shall call His name Jesus,
for He will save His people from their sins.” 22 Now all this took place to fulfill what was spoken by
the Lord through the prophet: 23 “Behold, the virgin shall be with child and shall bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel,” which translated means, “God with us.” 24 And
Joseph awoke from his sleep and did as the angel of the Lord commanded him, and
took Mary as his wife, 25 but kept her a virgin until she gave birth to a Son;
and he called His name Jesus.
